If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize