and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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