hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Randomize
