dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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