positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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