Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
You left your phone here
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