My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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