I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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