you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
