My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
