I want you more than these girls want KFC
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize