is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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