ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
