I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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