Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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