Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
