I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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