no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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