# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
