Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
