All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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