I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize