There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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