Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
