so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
