I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm both gender and math confused
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
