addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I am midnight drunk by noon
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
