Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
