and you said cock pushups were impossible
ugly people sure do ruin things
This house was built for laser tag.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
