I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
