2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
