He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Quick, to the slutcave!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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