he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
