sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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