Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
