Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
