fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
