Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
