Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
