help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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