just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
