he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She needs sedatives and a leash
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
