I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
