I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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