SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
