So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Having a random hookup so left but love u
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
