Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line