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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?

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• (561): View more from Florida

  if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  ....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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