love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Non-Jews are for practice
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.