drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize