i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
