nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I want to be your penis for a week.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
