Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dick very happy bro
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