just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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