So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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