Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I enjoy the company of your penis
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
