I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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