maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
