Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize