K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
