Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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