She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
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Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
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Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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