i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
