Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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