I wish I could teleport
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
